Self-confidence, self-conscious, self-love, they’re all words we hear a lot, and many of us struggle with. 7 in 10 girls believe they are not good enough or do not measure up in some way, including their looks. Why? Why do 92% of girls think they need to change something about the way they look? Why do 1 in 4 girls fall into clinical diagnosis of depression, an eating disorder, or a mental illness? why? Why after all the years of education we are put through,we are still learn very little about self-love?
For me personally, this is my biggest struggle in my everyday life. I’m at war in my mind all the time. As I write this, I want you to know that I do not have it figured out. I want to be completely honest, and say that I struggle with this, and sometimes struggle hard. I want to resolve this battle, and I’m writing this for myself, just as much as I am writing it for you.
Notice that I said “resolve the battle.” Typically, you’d think we want to win the battle, but let me explain why in this case it is better to resolve the war rather than win.
Sometimes in our minds we are winning the battle. These are the days we feel beautiful, we feel like our clothes look great, and we walk with confidence, and maybe even try to take a great selfie to document this moment.
Then sometimes we are losing the battle. These are the days where we try on 17 different outfits, want to hide out in bed so no one can see us, look at old pictures thinking about how we look better, and sometimes just cry.
I know for me, I can be winning the battle, and within minutes be losing, and losing hard. Then something happens and I can be winning again. It’s a tough battle to fight.
You’re still probably thinking, “Well yeah, I’d rather win this battle,” but think of it this way. Say we get to a certain point in our life, let’s use weight as an example because thats typically a source of many people’s self-esteem issues. Let’s say you get to a weight that you feels great. Maybe it was a goal weight you’d been trying to achieve, and you finally made it. You won the battle. Now you go back into living your life the day after you stepped on the scale, and all you can think about it trying to keep that weight off. Even if you still are living in that lifestyle you were to lose the weight, You think of yourself as a failure if your weight fluctuates. You are stressed about everything you eat, and do because the number on the scale might go up some days, and back down on others. Now you’ve entered a new battle, STRESS.
If we chose to resolve the battle, we’ve excepted ourself for how we are, and how it is at the moment. We appreciated how far we’ve come, and we except our imperfections. This doesn’t mean have to stop working on improving ourself, or maybe losing some weight if it’s going to make us healthy, but no matter where we are, we appreciate ourselves, and our bodies. We look at everything we are capable of, and all the great things we have going for us.
People do not care if you wear a size 0 pant, or a size 12 pant. Honestly, they can’t even see the tag so who cares what it says. Sometimes I won’t buy a shirt because I need to go up a size. The shirt could run small, but in my mind, me going up a size means I failed myself. Like I said, I am working on this.
This also goes back to my last post about being around those who want to empower you. Those people who truly love you for who you are, do not care what the tag on your pants says, or if you have a small dimple on the back of your thigh. They see the quality traits in you, that make you who you are. They notice your bright smile, your humor, your sense of giving to others. The things that matter.
Let the battle end. Make peace. Life is so much more than constantly worrying about what you look like, or not being able to celebrate something because that glass of wine with your friends wasn’t budgeted into your calories, and you might gain all the weight back you lost with the one glass of wine (The stress you are causing yourself is going to do more harm).
Love you, cause I do!